WoodmereWitch

Homemade Lasagna

Want something for dinner that’s packed with veggies and protein? Lasagna takes some time but is SO worth the end result and it’s way better than those store-bought frozen ones. Most people use ground beef for their lasagna but I like to do a 1:1 ratio of pork to beef when I do any sort of pasta to add some flavor but also to add some fat back into the dish since we use fairly lean beef and sometimes turkey. If you choose to use ground turkey or chicken in this recipe (or any other lean meat) I highly recommend adding some sort of fat into it for both flavor and to help incorporate everything in the sauce. Don’t be fooled, fat is good for you and your joints!

Ingredients

-1 red onion -1 zucchini -1 bunch fresh spinach -1 whole garlic head -1 box lasagna noodles -32oz ricotta cheese -2 balls of mozzarella -2 eggs -1 shallot (optional) -Italian seasoning -3 jars pasta sauce -2lbs ground meat (any) -1 can tomato paste

Instructions

Step 1- Chop spinach, onion, shallot, and zucchini into small pieces. (if hiding the veggies, chop smaller). Set aside the onion and shallot from the rest. Shred both balls of mozzarella and place into fridge. (tip: place your ball in the freezer for 5-10 minutes for easier shredding and less falling apart).

Step 2- While you preheat the oven to 400F, add the onion to a large, deep pan. Add some cooking oil (I like avocado) and bring to a medium/low heat until they start to turn translucent. Once they are a bit see through, add the 2lbs of meat and begin to break up and brown it.

Step 3- Once the meat has browned, add the rest of the veggies and let them cook down. The spinach will look like too much at this stage but it cooks down I promise. Start a large pot of water to boil the noodles.

Step 4- Drain your meat mixture and add it back into the pan. Add 3 jars of pasta sauce and the tomato paste to the pan, mix. Cover and set aside.

Step 5- Add your noodles to the boiling water and cook according to the package. While those cook, mix 2 eggs and the ricotta cheese into a large bowl. Add the Italian seasoning to mix in a little color, to taste.

Step 6- Drain your noodles and assemble your lasagna! Start with a small amount of sauce on the bottom, layer 3 noodles horizontally, cover with sauce/meat mixture, apply a strip of ricotta mixture along each noodle, cover with mozzarella cheese, then repeat! Once you have done 3 layers, finish off by placing 3 noodles, sauce, then covering with mozzarella cheese.

Step 7- Cover with foil and bake for 45 minutes at 400F. After 45 minutes, remove the foil and bake for an additional 15-20 minutes to brown the cheese. Can also broil for 5 minutes at the end to toast the cheese if desired.

Stuffed Portobello Mushrooms

Mushrooms. You either love them or hate them! This recipe is loaded with flavor and guaranteed to fill your belly and your happy meter 😉 ProTip: Substitute the ricotta cheese for cottage cheese if you want a protein-packed twist!

Ingredients

-8 Portobello Mushrooms (depending on the mushroom size and depth, possibly only need 6, I like to stuff ours pretty high!)

-1lb ground sausage

-1/2 red onion

-Garlic avocado oil (or regular)

-1 red bell pepper

-artichoke hearts (I used a 14oz can)

-3c spinach

-15oz ricotta cheese

-shredded cheese (just enough to top the mushrooms with)

-Spices you prefer (I used a non-salt table blend today

Instructions

Step 1:

Finely chop onion, pepper, spinach, and artichoke, set aside.

Step 2:

In a large skillet combine onion, oil, sausage, and spices and cook until browned. Add peppers and spinach.

Step 3:

While the spinach is cooking down, prep your mushrooms by washing them, de-stemming and removing the black things with a spoon (I cannot remember the name!). Pat dry and cook in oven at 350F for 12 minutes.

Step 4:

Once skillet mixture is cooked down a bit and browned, drain. Add to a large mixing bowl and stir in ricotta.

Step 5:

When mushrooms are done with the oven, remove them and pat them dry with a paper towel the best you can. DO NOT TURN OFF OVEN YET!

Step 6:

Stuff mushrooms with the ricotta and meat mixture, top with shredded cheese.

Step 7:

Bake an additional 15 minutes. Allow to cool, serve and enjoy!

**Had leftover stuffing mixture so I boiled some fettuccine noodles and mixed it with that

Homemade Spaghetti

Want to make a house staple without it being a boring jar of sauce and some noodles? It can be hard to get veggies into the diet sometimes (or often! no judging here), sneaking them into everyday recipes is a fantastic way to both consume more veggies, but also elevate the flavor of every dish!

LOTS of veggies are snuck into here and the kids love it! It’s one of the few dishes they will eat their whole serving of and ask for more! It’s easy to add even more veggies too. We’ve done green beans, bell peppers and zucchini to name a few. Don’t be afraid to measure spices with your heart and change up the recipe!

Ingredients

– 1 whole yellow onion finely chopped

– Minced garlic (we measure this with our heart y’all)

– 1lb lean ground beef or turkey

– 1lb ground sausage (unseasoned)

– 1lb of pasta (any kind you like! My kids prefer the thin kind)

– 2 Tbsp of Italian seasoning

– 1 tsp of ground ginger

– 1 tsp of ground tumeric

– 1 tsp ground white pepper

– Salt to taste

– 3-4 Tbsp Avocado oil

– 2c diced tomatoes

– 3 jars of pasta sauce (we prefer the chunky garden combo from Prego but hope to make our own soon!)

– 3-4 bay leaves

Instructions

Step 1-

Heat oil, onion, and garlic in a large and deep pan with low-medium heat for about 5 minutes or until fragrant and the onion starts to change color.

Step 2-

While step one is cooking,heat a VERY large pot of water to a boil and salt generously.

*Mom tip: break your long pasta BEFORE it goes into the pot so you don’t have to worry about cutting it for your little ones!* (I usually break mine in 4 parts)

Step 3-

Add both meats into the pan with the onion and garlic. Mix and chop this until it’s very broken up. Add Italian seasoning, white pepper, ginger, turmeric, and salt. Keep mixing and chopping up the meat as it cooks. Turn the heat up to medium and cook until completely brown and there is absolutely no more pink. (I even let mine get a bit crispy)

Step 4-

Cook the noodles according to your pasta choice. Once cooked, strain. Add your sauces and tomatoes to the pot used for the noodles and bring to a simmer while adding the noodles back in. Allow this to simmer for at least 5-10 minutes before adding the meat in.

Step 5-

Strain your meat and add it to your pot of noodles and sauce. We prefer the sauce listed above because it includes carrots, bell peppers, and zucchini. You can add these veggies on your own if your sauce doesn’t have it included and just cook them in the pan with the onion and garlic before adding your meat.

Step 6-

Mix very well and add your bay leaves. Fully submerge the leaves. Allow to simmer (covered) for 5-10 minutes stirring occasionally.

Step 7-

Serve and garnish with grated Parmesan and parsley! (Cheese and parsley optional of course)

A Second Chance

It’s been a few years since my last post about divorce and my journey into becoming a single mother. I focused on my kids and myself and eventually, a career in business administrative accounting with a local company. Fast foward to now, I am remarried, a stay at home mother again, and a mother to 5 beautiful children. Here’s my journey through the years navigating hardships, heartbreak, and finally a healthy marriage and home. This is a written personal experience with the intention of self expression.

It Starts with a Step

When I began my divorce, I was devastated as most are during a time like that. Whatever the circumstances are, it’s painful for all parties involved in different ways. But, it’s still okay to go through it. I had to come to navigate a long term relationship ending, a friendship, my motherhood journey taking a sudden shift, the family dynamic shift, and the general way of life changing as it does throughout life. I learned much about myself, and learned even more about how to be a balanced parent. I managed to stay financially afloat with state assistance and working as a grocery delivery shopper for Instacart. I highly recommend this as a way to increase cash flow for all parents. I was in control of how many orders I took on (workload), how much distance I wanted to travel (flexibility to stay close to home), and could easily work around my children’s nap schedules, school schedule, and keep my children fed while on the go with easy stops at home to play, rest, and eat of course.

A Monkey Wrench

Fast forward a few years, a move, court battles, medical battles, and more, my ex and I were living together again… while also still going through a divorce. We did our best to co-parent and co-habitate with a house my father purchased and also resided in for our family to have a roof over our head. However, with both of us not working and still being the default for the children, the financial strain again creeped up. My father sat us down and explained he would have to sell the house unless he got $X amount of money per month to cover the cost of more than just him living in the home. So I went to work. I began part time as an accounting assistant and within a month also became a part time receptionist for the same company. Now that I was working full time, the strain of child rearing at home again began to creep in. The strain of being the sole financial earner and still default for the children made co-habitation strained to say the least. I pressed for him to move out and he pressed for a signature on a dotted line. Eventually, I got the children into daycare in April of 2023 and began to focus on my career. I went from being part time in one position, to two positions a month later, and within six months I was the full time accounting assistant as well as the trainer for new hires. In less than a year, I took over the accounting department as the accounting administrator and had accumulated $5 in raises from my date of hire to my date of resignation. With state assistance and working overtime every week, I was able to help my father stay afloat with bills enough to keep our home. My ex moved out finally about six months after the children began daycare and things began to become strained but also calmer for everyone.

Trial and a Second Chance

My divorce took longer to finalize than the marriage actually lasted if you can believe it. We began in October of 2021 and our trial didn’t take place until December of 2023. With that said, it was hard for both parties as well as the children for it to go on for so long. With everything finalized in January of 2024, I decided I would give one last chance to dating. I had dated only twice since ending my marriage in September 2021, both were lessons of the heart I won’t bore you with. February of 2024, a figure of the past came into my DMs on Facebook. I knew it was going to be something different with him, but I was cautious. We quickly caught up from the years it had been since high school and bonded over being parents and having similar heartbreaks with my first marriage and his long term relationship both ending suddenly and having children involved. Right away we both made the intention clear that we were too old for games and guessing. He made his intentions clear the first time he took me out to dinner, he invited all the kids to go too and to their favorite restaurant. I was timid to say yes for the sole fact of the cost for going out but he insisted on taking us like a gentleman and covered everything. He was so patient with my kids who didn’t have much experience going to restaurants with being so young and having been part of the COVID era. They were a bit rambunctious, but no more than kids usually are. They asked him lots of questions and loved listening about what he does for work. We had a movie night next, where even grandpa was invited 🙂 we were inseparable. While we didn’t have any overnights at first, he came to see us after work and made time for his son. We had the best routine while dating, he would work, I was working, and while he got to be with his son for a bit in the evening, I was busy doing bedtime with my children and keeping with routines. He would come over after the kids were in bed and stay up late just to have dinner with me even if it was 9pm at night by the time we finished cooking together. Three weeks into dating, he gave me a promise ring. A promise to never leave any of us and a promise to always keep choosing us. Six weeks into dating, we married on April 2, 2024. Our journey into marriage came quickly into it’s next milestone with a little baby on the way.

Newlyweds and Soon to Be Parents

Our journey into marriage was smooth in some ways and rocky in others. We learned lessons together and a lot on our own. We navigated all the changes at first, financially, physically, etc. At this point, my now husband had been providing for my children and I while I was also working so that I wasn’t so stressed on paying my bills as we kept them separate until after we married. When we married, daycare became a big expense, it became unreasonable for me to work and pay for it as well as the children kept getting sick. Thankfully my job allowed me to bring my sick kid to work since I had a private office so I could be Dr. Mom and Miss Business at the same time. Then I lost a family member. Then another a month later. And another a month after that. The grief was bearable but it was heavy. Eventually, I chose my health and my family over my career because my husband supported me either way. I became a stay at home mother again in May of 2024 and we found out we were expecting in June 2024. We were ecstatic! The pregnancy and new marriage life was a navigation where we have come out into our second year of marriage strong, and focused on family.

Building Our Bond

Everyday is a choice. I’m grateful to have my husband by my side as I still continue private battles in my life. I have watched my husband continue to grow, change, recover, and persevere through things that would break most men. Everyday I watch that man go to work for our family and sacrifice himself in ways I am just not built to do, I am so proud of him for that. What we have is something that cannot be found, cannot be happened upon, and cannot be broken. His commitment to our family has always pushed him through and his strength gives me strength. I will love him until my last day and I am so blessed to be the mother and step mother I am today because of him.

Divorce and Single Motherhood

Everything up until this point has happened a lightning speed. From marital issues, parenting disagreements, abuse, and legal orders, to paperwork, breaking through the controlled “bubble”, and getting on my feet to do what must be done. It’s messy. It’s painful. Most of all, it’s infuriating at the deepest level. To understand, it’s impossible. But I’m going to try to convey this painful journey and harsh reality my children and I face now.

6 years ago, my ex-husband and I began our relationship while I was in my senior year of high school. Everything was a whirlwind of emotions and desire and happiness. We moved in together 5 months into dating and not long after I turned 18 and he turned 20. Less than two months into us living together, there were problems and long story short, I cheated on him and discovered I was pregnant. Fast forward, a paternity test while I was pregnant, reconciliation between us, and we were preparing to go into parenthood the best we could. I got a better job with my own benefits and we were on the right path. There was pain because of the betrayal by me which was justified. Two months before our daughter was due to arrive, he told me I could quit my job and become a stay at home mother. To say I was ecstatic to be able to stay home, prepare for the arrival of our baby girl, and then continue to be her caretaker for her after she arrived was an understatement.

Fast forward again, we skipped over a couple of moves and jumped ahead to our daughter being just over a year old. One morning, I was getting up to take a photo of my new business cards to share with my mom how they turned out. Once I turned to head back into our bedroom, I was met with him down on one knee holding a ring we had found together at a pawn shop. He asked me to marry him and of course I said YES! We set the date for almost 2 years from then and it was a rush of happiness, excitement, and being so grateful we were a family and were really doing this together. Coming from a family with many divorces and baby daddies, I felt I had been blessed more than I deserved. That feeling would be my downfall, yet I was blind.

The year of the wedding, 2019, I turned 21 and as anyone does on that birthday, I went out to the bar for the first time with my best friend. Everything was so wonderful and felt like it was great. There were financial difficulties that I was responsible for that we were working through together at the time. The morning after I had gone out, he decided he changed his mind and he didn’t actually want to be with me. He took our daughter and left for the day. I was enraged. I couldn’t believe it but felt it was my fault. I began immediately drafting custody agreements as that would be immediately necessary especially since I had been her caretaker since birth, I had not been financially depended on for work in years, and prepared and packed to move back into my mothers house with my almost 2 year old daughter. When he returned, I went over my paperwork with him regarding parenting time and custody. He broke down and apologized and said he didn’t want us to end after all. Again, I felt grateful and blessed beyond measure and like I was so lucky to have him. See a pattern yet? I didn’t.

A week later, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was pregnant despite having negative tests. Exactly a week after my birthday, the test turned positive. My heart froze. The timing. The reality. The gravity of what the past week had been. And, our daughter was extremely sick with the flu and high fevers. The reaction to the positive test when I showed him was not one I would have ever wanted. The anger, the guilt, and the shame I felt were indescribable. “We can’t have a baby right now,” still echoes in my mind years later. But I felt I deserved that reaction, for the past mistakes done, it was justified in my mind. I remember him storming out the door saying he was going to the gym, I remember crying harder than I had the past week despite all that had unfolded. I decided that no matter what, there was no way I would abort this baby and that I would do it alone if I had to, somehow. When he returned, his attitude was completely different, he apologized and I felt relieved and grateful. Those feelings of gratefulness after mistakes made and being forgiven were a pattern that I feel I will never not recognize in the future. It’s abusive. It’s manipulative. It’s wrong. There may be explanations as to why those behaviors are present, but never excuses.

We continued with our wedding despite many threats of his that “maybe we just won’t”. When the day came, I was so grateful we actually made it to that day despite everything. The vows, they held so much meaning to me. I didn’t know they did not hold the same meaning to the other person. I wasn’t aware that I was making a one sided promise. A month and a half after the wedding, our second daughter was born with much difficulty and almost resulted in the loss of my life, again. I almost lost my life giving birth to our first child as well. Due to severe blood loss that I was unaware of until months after the fact, I fell into a deep depression after giving birth. I was unable to breastfeed because my body was trying to keep me alive and wouldn’t allow me to produce. I had infections that went unnoticed by medical “professionals” for 6 weeks. I had very little help. I had everything on my shoulders because of the work my husband was involved in. I was to be grateful for anything he chose to do in addition to his work and business responsibilities. I believed that and it worsened my depression. I believed that I had become suicidal due to adding synthetic birth control hormones to my body. In hindsight, it was due to abuse and trauma and an inability to focus on myself because of the responsibilities of 2 children, laundry, unpacking (we moved just a week before I gave birth), cleaning, settling in, dealing with maintenance issues of the new place, and so much more. The worst of it being that I was doing it all, alone.

A few months after adjusting and beginning to feel better and more able to focus on myself, I began to have a friend back in my life and she was amazing. She was friends with myself and my husband and would help me with household chores without even asking or making me feel like a burden. She was an incredible light in my life. That light was shattered when I began to question my husband on if something was going on after receiving warnings from her. In addition to the warning, my husband wanted to divorce me. I began therapy because I didn’t see a single day where I had a desire to live. I took every step possible to get help for myself, medication, calling almost 30 different therapist offices and professionals desperate for someone to help me help myself. To this day, only one professional called me back and I began seeing him immediately. I began seeing him before my husband had requested a divorce. We began a few sessions together and reconciled. I learned my husband had tried to be unfaithful with my friend, 4 months after giving birth to our second child and less than 6 months into our marriage. During that time, I also learned of other infidelities through secret accounts he used for monetary gain for himself. He told me it was all fake and just the part he had to play. I blindly accepted that, we both cut ties with my friend without explanation, and I worked hard to earn him back. Something I shouldn’t have ever had to do. You should never feel you need to “earn” your spouse. But I was grateful he chose to come back to me again despite my lack of anything to offer him. Again, I felt blessed beyond measure and so lucky.

I continued therapy, was able to get off of medication, focused on my nutrition and mental health and began to truly bloom into myself over the next year. It was not before having the hardest few months of my life though.

Now, I’m a mother of 3 that are 4 and under. My oldest is 4.5 years old, my second daughter just turned 2 years old a couple weeks ago, and my son is 4 months old. During the course of this year and during this last pregnancy, I began to realize and recognize the behaviors of my husband as not okay. Through therapy I have learned how to communicated better and be mindful and understand how to have a conversation without blaming. That’s when the gaslighting began, or at least it’s when I began to see it for what it was. The more I tried to communicate my needs and wants, the more I was rejected and demeaned for having asked at all despite knowing what he does for work. The more I tried to gently help him learn how to properly care for our children, the more I was being ungrateful for him doing anything at all when he “doesn’t know of anyone else who does even half of what he does for me”. Eventually I stopped trying and took everything over myself because if he wouldn’t do it properly, someone had to. This can appear controlling to some, so let me elaborate on some situations. Changing diapers of our children as soon as they wake up from the night. Being with our children so I could attend midwife appointments that I was unable to bring them to due to covid. I was blessed to have a midwife team who would help me accommodate and on more than one occasion would come to my home for my checkup when I would have to cancel last minute because “something came up” for work and their father couldn’t be there for them. Toward the end of pregnancy, I had 3-4 appointments every single week because of how hard the pregnancy was on my body this time around. I had to hire a baby sitter just so I could do what was told of me the best I could by my medical team (not carry kids up the stairs, avoid stairs at all) and we live on a third flood apartment and one child went to preschool 4 days a week. I couldn’t not do many of the things I was told to avoid. My body, my mind, my heart, and my spirit were broken beyond comprehension. I was in constant communication about this with my midwives and therapist. We decided together that I should get back on medication a few months before my due date.

My birth itself was enjoyable for the most part. But despite having a team of midwives, a hired birth doula, and my dear friend there, it was him that I wanted beside me for comfort and security. My labor stalled for days and while contracting and laboring, I became “stuck” at 5cm with my water broken for more than 24 hours. I had to face options and make decisions. I decided to go to the hospital from my chosen birth center and get the lowest dose of epidural possible so my body would relax. On the way to the hospital, I mentally spoke with my son and realized and accepted that he and I were in this alone and that despite that, we were going to do this together and we were going to do it the way we needed to. I vowed to follow his lead in this and asked him to guide me on what to do.

After giving birth, arguments and problems didn’t hesitate to make it into the mother and baby room between myself and my ex-husband. Particularly when we prepared to go home. My grandmother had flown up from California to stay with us for just shy of a month for me to give birth and for my older girls to be cared for so that my ex-husband could care for me while I focused hard on recovering slowly and caring for the baby. Despite those plans, I had to take care of myself anyways. Then, 5 weeks after having our son, he raped me. After that point, I was terrified and couldn’t understand what happened and how it was my fault. I did everything I could to justify it and move on. But I couldn’t. He had apologized and said he “forgot” I had said no. I wanted to believe him, but deep in my gut, I couldn’t move past it. Many more fights and arguments came in the months following.

It was discovered that drugs have been an issue and I am unsure for how long. Mental health is also an issue and I am unaware for just how long for that either. He hadn’t been going to therapy anymore for I don’t know how long. My final attempt at saving our marriage was therapy, the session was awful and no different from arguments at home. We were sent home with homework. When I read his, I realized I wasn’t in a partnership, I was being used. The way I have felt about myself for years finally came to light as being truth for how his actions and intentions wanted me to feel.

Things escalated quickly when I resolved to wanting a legal separation to get help with our children and the household because I couldn’t bear to be close to him without fear of setting him off. I had done all I could to try and get him help, but you cannot help someone who wants to own you.

Now, it’s adjusting to being a single mother and getting divorced. Oddly, yet logically, I have gotten better and better the longer there is no contact with him. I’m healing, but I’m grieving. I’m grieving for what I believed we had. I’m grieving the fact that I allowed myself to be treated so wrongly for so long. I’m struggling with guilt because of wishing I hadn’t been with him for so long but also knowing I wouldn’t have two of my three children had I left any other time than when I did. And I’m lonely. It’s not that I wasn’t lonely before, but there was still hope I had. With that hope shattered, there is only the loneliness that remains. I don’t want to get close to anyone in an emotionally connected way. I’m afraid. I feel used. I went from becoming a woman with dreams and passions with an incredibly strong and attractive body and mind to a woman who feels broken, used, and ruined beyond repair. I feel that there is no way anyone could possibly want me now that I’m a mother of 3 and my body shows that. I work hard each day to strengthen my body and mind but neither will ever be the same again, it’s impossible. I feel irreparable. I feel I don’t deserve happiness because I ruined my one chance. But I didn’t ruin anything. I know that. I know these feelings aren’t logical, but these are what I am left with after the past 6 years of my life.

Rebuilding myself is already the hardest part of all of this for me. I know I can do it and that I will be stronger and happier but the journey is HARD. One day, I know I will wake up and it won’t be so hard anymore, I’m holding onto the hope for that day. Today’s date is October 9th, 2021. I don’t know that I will share this post one day or if it will be forever in my drafts so I can look back on this time in my life with gratefulness that I was able to come out of it. Time will tell. Until then.

This article was written on October 9th, 2021. I am publishing this now, in September of 2022. Updated 7.18.25 to remove a past link that is no longer active.

New Beginnings & Healing

Hey friends! Thanks for stopping by today 🙂 It’s been some time since my last update as I was taking some time off for both the holidays and some personal growth. I’m excited to dive into that today with you and hope to inspire you on your own personal journey through life as we have entered into this New Year!

We left off just a short while before Christmas and my husband and I decided we wanted to begin implementing intentional time for both ourselves and one another as well as focusing on being more present with our children to make the holiday season magical and memorable for us all. That began with taking a break from things like blogging, spending much less time on our phones, and focusing on our health in all areas. Also, for myself, that included finally pulling the trigger on shaving my head! Yep, I shaved my head down to 1/2″ and have felt nothing but empowerment, happiness, and less headaches!

Spiritual Healing of Shaving my Hair

First, we did a pony and cut that with scissors, then my hubby got to work with scissors and the clippers. This was when we went 1″ long.

Here’s my awesome hubby going through with scissors some more before grabbing the clippers.

For those of you who have read my post “Dear 2020, You’ve Changed Me”, you will know some of the deepest and darkest struggles of my year with depression, marriage, PTSD, anxiety, and more. I had been wanting to shave my head for awhile but just never got around to doing it. My husband had always thought I wasn’t serious either so he would laugh it off and say no. As the year was coming closer to an end, I became more persistent in talking about shaving my head with my husband until one night he asked, “Wait, are you serious about this?” When I told him yes, he wanted to know my reason why I wanted to (I’ve been known for impulses and then being emotionally wrecked about my decision afterward, so it was a fair question). Here’s what I told him, “This past year has been so toxic and trying for myself and as much as I have learned and healed, I still feel like its dragging me and trying to pull me back down. I want to shave my head not only to get rid of the cells that are filled with toxic energy, but also to symbolize that I am never going back to the girl that I was this year and am only moving forward to grow into the woman I am becoming.” With that, he said, “Okay, you should do it.” I then proceeded to get off the couch and head to the bathroom. He laughed as he realized I was going to do it right then and there. So, naturally he followed me into the bathroom and shaved it for me! At the time, we only had a 1″ clipper extension so that’s what we began with. Over the course of the next week, I was persistently looking for the rest of the extensions that were somewhere for our old clipper set but with no luck. My husband then went to Walmart and came home with a very nice new clipper set and we got to work on going shorter! We finished with 1/2″ long of hair on my head and I felt so free. It was seriously like the last part of my chains finally crumbled and fell off of me. It’s been two weeks since then and although my hair has already grown a lot, I’m going to grow it back out from here. I’ll do some trims each full moon just to keep it healthy but I won’t be taking any length off anytime soon.

Becoming Mindful, Aware, and Establishing Routines

In addition to my symbolic haircut, my husband and I got on the same page about nourishing our bodies with good, whole foods in addition to supplementation and focused hydration. We established that we would prioritize our sleep, our Bible devotions, meditation, and daily exercise. Here’s what our personal decisions led us to:

Wake at 6am and Journal, coffee/tea, and meditate
Breakfast, get dressed, and do the same with kids
Go about our day and get some sort of exercise in, even if that’s just increased housework or a walk or even stretching. My personal go to is my Prenatal Barre Blend workouts but I have days where I need to listen to my body and do something a little less intense.
At 8pm, we eliminate all electronics, our notifications are all silenced, and we begin our evening routine. (Our kids usually go to bed between 7-7:30pm)
We do some guided stretching or yoga, our Bible devotions, make tea, journal, and meditate. We darken the room down to just one main light that is still a gentle brightness until it’s time to meditate, we meditate last and drink our tea afterwards. When it comes time to meditate, we turn off the last light which leaves just the hood light for our stove on only. Once we have completed our guided meditation, we sit on the couch together while we drink our tea before heading off to bed between 9-9:30pm.

We are human, so this sometimes isn’t what our evening or morning looks like, but it’s something we have been focusing on to have be our routines each day. We definitely notice a big difference when we don’t do our morning or evening this way versus when we do. This evening routine has also helped us shift our focus on one another instead of being on our phones or watching something on the tv which is usually what would have happened. This isn’t to say we never watch a show together anymore, again, we’re human and we definitely have times where we want to snuggle and watch something together before doing our evening routine.

Sleep Training…Again…

Our beautiful, soon to be middle child, little Mar Mar.

So, we have two kids that share a room. Our oldest will turn 4 next month and our youngest (soon to be middle child) turned 1 this last September. She wakes Every. Single. Hour. every night and sometimes I’m lucky to get every two hours instead. We’ve sleep trained her twice before but she always went right back to her usual 1-2 hour stretches and drank bottles of formula 3-4 times each night. She wouldn’t eat food during the day so when she would be up at night, I knew she needed food but I was also battling wanting to stop the bottles and get her sleeping through the night. Being almost halfway through my pregnancy has made getting up through the night much harder on myself and there’s no way I’ll survive a toddler and newborn both waking every 1-2 hours in a few months, NO WAY. However, I have been part of the problem. Every time she wakes crying, I have jumped out of bed and gotten to my bedroom door sometimes before I’ve even realized she’s crying. It’s been a habit for so long because I have been fearful of her interfering with my eldest’s sleep by her crying. Sleep training went out the window with me when we would bring our oldest back into their bedroom after sleep training for a week or so and it being successful (we brought our oldest into our room with her bed during the first two times of sleep training so she wouldn’t be disturbed by the crying). Now, we are doing sleep training again and taking away the bottles at night. Last night was night two, and surprisingly our oldest actually sleeps through the crying just fine! I’ve been so worried about pretty much nothing. The past two night have been rough though, mostly for me. I definitely cussed out my husband quite a bit the first night as he stood his ground firmly with the timers and no bottles. I was definitely not having it! However, by night two, we discussed the previous night and I admitted that I’ve been part of the problem and had no idea Amelia (our oldest) could sleep through it just fine. Also, since taking away the bottles, our daughter has eaten way more food during the day than I have ever seen her eat! She definitely figured it our pretty fast that formula was gone. All in all, I think this third round of sleep training will be our final round, THANK JESUS!

ADHD and Adjusting Nutrition/Supplements

We have also realized our oldest daughters struggle with ADHD since the last blog post. I have been struggling for months with her and her behavior and impulsivities without having any idea what’s been going on. As my husband has been diving into his own ADHD struggle, we have been realizing our daughter struggles in a lot of the same ways as he does. His side of the family is very strong genetically in having ADHD, so when we began looking into it more and talking with the doctor along with our own therapist, we decided that she does have ADHD and have began taking steps both to help her as well as steps to help myself understand her so I can be more patient and helpful for her. We have readjusted our diet as a family to go back to being gluten-free, limiting dairy, only using organic foods, no processed food or artificial dyes/flavors, as well as getting her back on a whole-food multivitamin on top of her Vitamin D and Probiotic as well as being very consistent with giving them to her. We have VERY limited screen time with her now and most days don’t allow any at all just so we can detox her from it. We have more things like playdough and other fidget items, we have implemented daily workouts for her also. Cosmic Kids Yoga on YouTube has been AMAZING for her! She loves it and actually follows along with it also. We have also been giving her some tea of her own before bed but also during the day if she needs a little extra support. We have reached for our oils daily again and have the diffusers running daily again also, I had been very slacking on using the diffusers lately and just focused on other things that I didn’t realize I wasn’t using them like I had been. All in all, it’s been over a week since we implemented these things with her and we have seen a significant change in her behaviors overall. Yes, she still has tantrums, she’s not perfect and she’s only just about to turn 4, but she’s been doing incredibly better than the past several months and we have had WAY less accidents when we had previously been dealing with multiple accidents per day. To say I was frustrated and burnt out as a stay at home mom would have been a HUGE understatement. My sanity is returning and everyone in our family is benefitting and beginning to truly thrive again.

All in all, this first week of the New Year has been a great one for our family and I’m so excited to be on this journey as a family. I would love to hear about you and your family, what changes are you making for you this year? How can I help support you in your own journey?

Until next time friends 🙂

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